The HR Approved Way to Say Things
200 office-speak translations for what everyone is actually thinking, plus 50 fill-in prompts. For the coworker who has mastered the polite email.
View on AmazonGift Guides › The Office
Gifts for People Who Survive Meetings
Funny, actually useful gifts for coworkers, bosses and anyone who has typed “per my last email” with a straight face.
Start here
Books for the office, from us
The Official Complaint Book
Fill-in complaint forms for every grievance, big or small. For the coworker who has opinions about the thermostat.
View on AmazonAlso good for the office: The Customer Is Always Wrong · The Sarcastic To-Do List · the whole workplace humor shelf
One click, done
Ready-made gift kits
We put the pieces together. One button adds the whole kit to your Amazon cart, so all that’s left is wrapping it.
The Meeting Survivor Kit
Around $30
For the coworker with back-to-back calls. Something to read, something to spin and something to squeeze.
- The HR Approved Way to Say Things
- The Office Answer Wheel (pick 05)
- A silent fidget toy (pick 07)
The Full Office Survival Kit
Around $60
The big one, for a boss, a work spouse or the office Secret Santa you actually like. Two books, a tumbler that says it for them and a sign that keeps people away.
- The HR Approved Way to Say Things
- The Official Complaint Book
- “This meeting could have been an email” tumbler (pick 06)
- “Do Not Disturb” desk sign (pick 02)
Prices change on Amazon, so the totals above are approximate. Check your cart before you buy, and remove anything you don’t want.
Picks 1–4
Desk survival kit
For the hours between meetings, when they are trying to get actual work done.
01
A desk “No” button
Says no a dozen different ways, so they don’t have to. For whoever gets asked to “hop on a quick call” five times a day.
Check price on Amazon02
A “Do Not Disturb” desk sign
The polite version of a closed door, for open offices and anyone with headphones that clearly aren’t working.
Check price on Amazon03
Funny sticky notes for work
A 12-pack of pre-printed notes for saying what everyone is thinking, one sticky at a time.
Pairs with: The Official Complaint Book
Check price on Amazon04
A dumpster fire desk zen garden
For the project that’s on fire and the reply-all thread at 40 messages. Rake the sand, stay calm on the outside.
Check price on AmazonPicks 5–8
For the meeting itself
Small things that make the hour that could have been an email a little easier to sit through.
05
The Office Answer Wheel
A mini book with a clicking spinner for every question they’d rather not answer out loud. Decisions get made about as well as they do in the meeting, only faster.
Pairs with: The HR Approved Way to Say Things
Check price on Amazon06
A “This meeting could have been an email” tumbler
Says it so they don’t have to, and keeps the coffee hot through the third agenda item.
Check price on Amazon07
A silent fidget toy
Under-the-table stress relief that won’t click loud enough to get them called on.
Check price on Amazon08
A “Per my last email” notebook
For taking notes, or at least looking like it. Pairs well with a long agenda.
Pairs with: The Sarcastic To-Do List
Check price on AmazonPicks 9–12
White elephant and Secret Santa
Safe for the office party, funny to whoever opens it, and nobody has to explain it to HR.
09
Desktop Boxing
A mini boxing kit that fits on the desk. Best used right after the “quick sync.”
Check price on Amazon10
A funny star trophy
For surviving another quarter. Present it at the next meeting, deadpan delivery required.
Check price on Amazon11
Office-humor socks, 6 pairs
A little sarcasm they can wear to the all-hands, where nobody will see it. Six pairs covers the whole work week, plus one for the meeting that runs into Saturday.
Check price on Amazon12
A flip-message desk sign
33 funny messages to flip through, one for every mood between the 9 a.m. stand-up and the 4:55 “quick question.”
Check price on AmazonHow we picked
We looked for gifts that are funny for about five seconds and useful for a lot longer, safe for a shared office, and easy to wrap. Nothing on this page paid to be here.
Questions people ask
What’s a good funny gift for a coworker who hates meetings?
The Office Answer Wheel or a “This meeting could have been an email” tumbler. Pair either one with The HR Approved Way to Say Things for a gift that covers the whole workday.
What’s a safe office gag gift that won’t offend anyone?
Stick to jokes about work itself: meetings, email, the printer. Everyone shares those complaints, so nobody feels singled out. Every pick on this page follows that rule.
What should I bring to an office white elephant exchange?
Something that gets a laugh when it’s opened and still gets used afterward, like Desktop Boxing or a flip-message desk sign. Check your exchange’s price limit first.
Free printable
The Overachiever’s Excuse Kit
10 printable pages for politely saying “not at this time.” Free when you join our email list.